farters have to be the big spoon...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
