Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
honey bunches of taint.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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