omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So many bounce houses so little time
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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