I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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