Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
