I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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