you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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