Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
