And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
