biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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