It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
