Its about making memories worth repressing
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
