Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just found puke in my bra..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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