I can't breathe out the right side of my face
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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