Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
