So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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