shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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