if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
