I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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