Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
