It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
