Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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