Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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