you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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