he wants to bone in the snuggie
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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