So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
