I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
