The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
