jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize