We're facebook friends in real life
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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