I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize