I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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