I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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