Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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