I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
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