That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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