You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
