Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Pants are for mortals
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
