i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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