I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize