They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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