those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He felt like a one man threesome
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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