I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
