we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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