You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
