bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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