i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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