I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
