things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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