would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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