I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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