his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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