I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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