dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
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i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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