i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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