Ambien. No doubt about it.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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