If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I party with great urgency now.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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