You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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