remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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