All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
