I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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