I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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