youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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