I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize